Dean List!!

I managed to get through high school, get into a good college and I'm graduating this semester with an average GPA. But I feel like that's not good enough. I always write papers the day before they're due no matter how intense they are, and I always get the middling grades I deserve.

I'm capable of functioning just fine - I keep myself and my room clean, I can hold down a job, I've only ever flunked one class. But even so, I only ever do the bare minimum of what's expected of me and I know I'm capable of so much more. Even getting around to writing this short question took me a week. My parents have given me basically everything I've ever wanted and it's going to stop soon. Heck, I want it to stop!!!. 

I've tried plenty of things - compartmentalizing my life, coming up with rigorous schedules, taking notes, but I always throw them out within a day or so and go back to goofing off until I absolutely have to do something. I'm appalled at how much time I waste, but I just can't stop doing it.

I genuinely think I'm an intelligent and capable person, but I'm so profoundly unmotivated that it hardly matters. I need serious change in my life and I'm not sure how to effect it. Therapy? Drugs? I don't even know who to talk to because everyone just thinks I'm lazy.

Look, I'm a certified expert at this due to a very strange upbringing. I've been working and studying at this for decades because I had to learn this stuff on my own having no proper examples at home. Here's where I stand as of today.

• Productivity is a skill that has to be learned and practiced
• Time management doesn't have to be onerous
• Start simple
• Make sure your goals are your goals
• Let go of your emotional blocks
• Get new friends
• Fulfill your sleep requirements
• Move your body

Being smart enough to slide by can be a bad thing. Things like school aren't very engaging, and become a nuisance rather than a challenge. So rather than learning to exert effort to accomplish goals, and getting used to exerting that effort, you learn to get through life with the path of least resistance. Nothing is impossible, DEAN LIST is just in your hand.